How to Start Conversations on Dating Apps

Opening a dating app conversation is a daunting task, but it needs to be done either way.

That’s why we’re here to tell you how to start conversations on dating apps that are sure to impress. Making a good first impression is a big thing, and there are way too many things that could go wrong.

We’ve picked up all the tips and tricks on how to start chatting on dating apps, so you won’t have to start from scratch. Whatever your mood and preferences are, you’ll surely find things to pick up on here. Let’s dive in!

What Makes a Good First Message On A Dating App?

Whether you’re doing it via an app or seeking love offline, dating takes effort. There’s no need to compare the two, though, as the approach to online dating is slightly different at its core (we’ll dive into that a little more later). So what are the main things you should consider while writing the first message to your match?

  • Ask open-ended questions. Well, this one is pretty obvious, but a lot of people still ignore it. An open-ended question opens more opportunities for a conversation and it lets you get the idea of who the person you’re chatting with really is. The classic “Hey, how are you?” move is kinda outdated at this point, and there’s not much you really get from it, isn’t it?
  • Don’t write too much. Another obvious one, but we’re talking about the basics here. Nobody wants to read a massive paragraph, especially if it’s the first thing you get from a person. An opening message should be rather short and sweet but don’t get too flirty right away unless it’s the vibe you’re going for.
  • Be direct. The thing about dating apps that is both good and bad is that you get too many options. And when you chat with countless people at once and you’ve been using the service for a while, you don’t want to go around things for too long (cause it feels like you’re wasting time). It’s better to ask what the person is looking for and establish the same about yourself, so you can find out if the conversation is worth continuing.

How To Start A Meaningful Conversation On A Dating App

The messaging statistics on dating apps are rather off-putting. According to the numbers, over 50% of the messages on major dating apps are left unanswered, and that’s why people are starting to get more concerned about how to chat with a potential date.

The truth is, there’s no message that we would recommend for everyone. It’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing, all situations and people are unique. Some are flirty, some are not. Some like humor and unexpected opening texts, and others prefer to take things slow and take time to get to know each other. For that reason, we’ve picked up some dating gapp chatting tips you may use.

Ask About Something On Their Profile

This approach lets the person know you’re putting some effort into learning more about them, and it’s always a good mood. The profiles are usually well-thought-out, so you can guess the things included in the BIO matter to the person. And trust us, people love to get noticed, especially on dating apps. Take your time exploring their acc and pick up a few things from it.

However, don’t get things too far, okay? Don’t try to find their IG and ask about smth from it. It’s creepy, and nobody likes creepy. In case you want this technique to work even better, we’ve got a tip for that, too.

Connect On Common Ground

If you’ve followed our advice and found smth interesting on your match’s profile, good for you. But if you happen to share some of their interests, it’s even better. Dating apps do a good job of matching people with similar interests, and we’ve compared the best dating apps to help you choose.

You can explore your passion for something together, and people tend to open up easier if they already have something in common to discuss. Plus, it will surely keep the conversation going, at least in the beginning.

In case there’s nothing specific for you to pick up on, there’s always a safe choice: traveling. Everybody loves it, and even if they don’t travel that much, they surely want to. You can discuss the places you’ve visited, pick favorites, and maybe even plan your next trip together.

Ask For A Recommendation

Another thing you need to know about people: they love to give advice. Not necessarily an expert advice, but any kind in general. You can ask your match not to give a TV Series or a book recommendation. Not only does it let you learn more about their taste, but it lets them know you’re generally curious about them. It will be an additional perk if you find smth you like through it, but it doesn’t have to happen.

Asking for their fave restaurant is always a good move too. You can go try it out, give your feedback, and ask to go there together. Get creative with it, there are tons of ways to do it.

Chat About Pop Culture

Pop culture is something you can always rely on if you have no idea what to talk about. There’s always a new show that’s the talk of the town, a new book, or a music album to discuss. You can even try and discuss the latest big scandal, but it won’t work for everyone.

And even if your match hasn’t seen the movie or read a book, you can always give them a recommendation and talk about what you think of it.

“Would You Rather” Game

In case you don’t want to waste your time on small talk, the “would you rather” game is always a good choice. It lets you learn more about your match’s personality and taste, too. Plus, you can ask whatever you want and figure out what they think about the topics that matter to you.

You can play it fun or go deeper with philosophical questions, but humor is smth you can’t really go wrong with. And it opens up for a goofy little conversation for you two to have. In case you have no idea what to ask, use one of the trusty chatbots to get some inspo, or simply google it.

Share A Random Fact

That’s just another goofy way to start a conversation. You can share something you’ve recently learned or just find some fact you think is funny. But there are ways to get wrong with it.

First, don’t just throw a fact out there. It would be a dead-end for a conversation, so try to add an open-ended question to it. If you don’t have ideas, ask AI catbots for help.

And don’t get overboard with it, you may come off being odd and scare someone off. Like, if you’re a huge fan of true crime, don’t open a conversation up by sharing a random fact about some famous serial killer, ok? Your match may happen to share that interest, but if they don’t, chances are you’ll be left unanswered or blocked.

Be Playful

It’s a nice way to break up the monotony of dating chats and have fun with playful pickup lines. Yeah, it won’t work for everyone, but there’s a high chance to put a smile on your match’s face. And it will work perfectly for someone who is not in the mood for big conversations about life goals and all that. Anyway, it is always worth a try.

In case humor is your thing, you can even make a custom meme to impress your match.

Don’t Talk About Sex

Unless both you and your match have made it clear they are only interested in casual hookups, talking about sex right away won’t get you too far. You can flirt without being vulgar, folks, don’t forget that!

Start With A Deep Question

If humor and witty chats are not your thing, you can go for something deeper. Just make sure you can really maintain the conversation, and if your match is not into such a tone, move on from it quickly. Not everyone likes to discuss deeper things with practically strangers, even if they’ve matched on a dating app.

In case the question works, you’ll get a clear idea about someone’s personality and beliefs. The thing here is you may have opposite views on something and still be a good match, so don’t get too protective love your point of view. And it’s better not to talk about something that can cause an argument like politics or controversial stuff.

The thing to make it more suitable is to pair it with a pinch of humor.

Give Compliments

It’s never a bad move to compliment someone. But since you don’t know the person too well (and there are tons of creeps online), don’t try to compliment on physical things. Well, at least not the size of their breasts or something. The best way is to compliment something you’ve noticed on their acc, and it works for interests too.

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Anne Novikova
Enjoy finding leading apps of all kinds and share them with the world. An iOS user with an interest to all gadgets that make life easier and more fun.